By admin on April 14, 2010
I came across Ram Gopal Verma’s latest blog post, where he speaks about getting scared by his own creations. Isn’t fearfulness man’s own creation anyway?
“It was 3’O’clock in the night. I just returned from a late night shoot of “Bhoot” to my apartment on the 8th floor. As I got into the bed and was trying to sleep I suddenly had a feeling that Manjeet the ghost in “Bhoot” was behind the cupboard near the wall. I felt my hair rise and I almost immediately laughed out loud at my own imagination. Manjeet’s laugh came out from behind the wall mixed with my own laughter. Startled, I looked at the wall. There was complete silence. I reminded myself that Manjeet was created from my own imagination and now my own imagination is trying to play tricks and scare the hell out of me with my own creation. I smiled to myself at the ridiculousness of it. My mind said that I go and check behind the cupboard and my sensibility said ‘No’. After a severe conflict between the two, I completely resisted the temptation to go and check. However after staring at the cupboard for a while in a low voice I called out Manjeet’s name. In reply there was a dead silence from behind the cupboard.”
Reproducing the comment I wrote in response to RGV’s rants.
“A few experiences to share in this regard. Firstly, I don’t get scared looking at my own room walls and the furniture set around, unless and until precisely choosing to do so. Often questioning why don’t I get scared of the swinging windows in air and the dry leaves making strange sounds all over my terrace – which otherwise should make for a serene night – can sometimes do the trick for me. No doubt, getting back to the senses and gloating over the effort, is the next obvious course. However, there have been a couple of more incidents that I should be mentioning here.
The slaying of a common friend and his servant’s in 2004 was one such incident. I learned of their gruesome end and the bizarre mystery surrounding the whole affair through the media and other friends. How the phone calls and people visiting them would go unresponded the whole day until finally the police barged in to find them brutality done with during that night. The ‘Desi’ method used by their paid killers, but their love for the ‘Videsi Tharra’ (wine) that they had sipped the previous night on the terrace, while awaiting for a SUV to take them away at dawn….all established through the forensics, and listened by me at length through common mouths. The case was to go unresolved later, but had me unsettled for a week or so on a personal level.
I could not walk around in my own house in the dark for an entire week, always seeking to keep one or the other corner of my house lit. Always living under the anxiety of the unknown and getting edgy at the slightest of movements and sounds from behind the objects, and that too for no obvious personal reasons. I’m basically a mediator who knows how to get rid of their undue mental burdens when it starts getting the better of them, but all in vain for that one tortuous week.
The other incident is somewhat funny in nature. I once lay on my bed thinking of the methods to scare the others of my own silly existence (or the lack of it), and began assuming to be dead while the rest others had no clue of my demise. That, those outside my room and in the neighborhood would come to know of my ghostly departure only after the next morning, and I would have started rotting and leaving a trail of bad odor and fear by that time. That, my room would be seen with suspicion and will have a ghostly shadow woven around it for a very long period. Obviously, my room grew remarkably darker and mysterious by the moment and made my own body so much unbearable, that I decide never ever to revisit this fantasy again.”
Image courtesy of Osho International Foundation. New York. USA
And then I decided to check out Osho’s discourses on fear and compiled the following list of quotes and links with respect to that.